After taking to Yelp and Citysearch to voice dissatisfaction over their monstrous mammaries, several woman are now being sued by the very plastic surgeon who disfigured them. Cue flash of lightning and maniacal laughter. 

A former patient of Dr. Jay Pensler claimed that he had given her “Frankenstein breasts,” while another likened her implants to something out of a Freddy Krueger movie.

Yet another claimed that Pensler had buried a key under her breast implants, locked her in a dungeon and to get free she had to dig out the key using only a pocketknife and tampon. 

Well, Pensler wasn’t going to take that lying down and had his lawyers subpoena Yelp to track down those whiny wonky-boobed women. He is suing them for defamation of character.

According to Pensler’s lawyers:

“It’s one thing for people to express their opinions in a responsible way and they’re entitled to be critical if they choose to be critical. But people are not permitted to make up stories or make up false statements that attack people and are defamatory.”

Well, there seems to be only one way to solve this case: ladies, take out those titties and let’s see if any torch-wielding villagers start chasing after you.