December 2011
12 posts
Ways Horrible/Humorless People Respond To...
theidiotking:
“OKAYYYYYYY….“
“You’re WEIRD.”
“What are you smoking?” and/or “I want some of what YOU’RE on.”
<eye roll>
“Yeah… not so much.”
“Not sure what THAT was all about, but…”
“Riiiiiiiiiight.”
“Anywayyyyyyyyyyy…”
“Um, random much?”
“I never developed the social skills one needs to have a fun back and forth with someone, nor do I understand/know how to process humor, so...
Topic: New Year's Resolutions
Marcos: So, what are you planning for the New Year? Any resolutions I should know about?
Lester: You mean besides killing it? As in, literally bludgeoning the shit out of 2012 and laughing maniacally over its ravaged body?
Marcos: Yes.
Lester: I think I'll read more. You?
Marcos: I'm going to try and learn Spanish for the millionth time.
Lester: Give it up already, you're as white as Diane Keaton in every movie she's ever been in.
Marcos: Excuse me? I am VERY Mexican, muchas gracias!
Lester: You're as Mexican as Eva Longoria.
Marcos: How dare you! I will have you know that one of my Grandfathers died picking oranges in a field and the other was shot and killed in East L.A.
Lester: You don't get much more Mexican than that.
Marcos: I wish I was Eva Longoria. Then I'd be dating Penelope Cruz's brother, who is muy caliente. Plus, I'd be BFF's with Penelope and her BFF Salma Hayek who would invite me to hang with them, but secretly hate me and gossip behind my back when I leave.
Lester: Well, the answer is clear—kill Eva Longoria and assume her identity.
Marcos: My new New Year's resolution.
