The White Sade: Every relationship is a power... →
sade: From the very start. The first text. Do you text back right away? No no, you don’t want to look desperate and besides, you’ve got the upper hand right now. They’re waiting for you to reply. And so it begins. I’ll be damned if I’m sending that first instant message. I’mma sit back and let YOU… My life.
Topic: Kathy Ireland
Lester: Guess what? I have a second date with that guy I met on OKCupid.
Marcos: How'd you manage that?
Lester: A meager display of humility and slight begging.
Marcos: Success! What are you doing on this alleged "date?"
Lester: Going to see Dame Helen Mirren pistol whip people in "Red." P.S. When I said "humility" earlier, I clearly mean I was more than half-in-the-bag.
Lester: Actually, I was so deep in the bag, I was in a completely separate bag.
Marcos: One of those giant bags they give you at K-Mart even if you buy the smallest thing in the store.
Lester: I got it when I was canoodling with Kathy Ireland under a Martha Stewart Living comforter.
Marcos: That would be a hilarious blind item. "Which former 'supermodel'-turned-discount-home-wares-peddler was found hopped up on coke, spooning Kathy Ireland in the bedding department? Hint: Not Naomi Campbell."
Lester: I thought you were referring to Kathy Ireland as the former super. Trash!
Marcos: Don't act like you don't love spooning with stretch marks.
Lester: How dare you, sir.
Marcos: "Spooning With Stretch Marks: The Lester Brathwaite Story."
Lester: You son of a...